why is it so hurt? why is it so sad?♥

this is a stupid weekend♥
but i love it♥
LOL♥

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

emo me♥
with an emo blog post♥
i'm going to tell you something♥
this is the first time i'm telling you this♥
and also the last time♥
"I LOVE YOU"♥

okayys♥
just now, when i saw those photos you taken with her♥
i'm so sad♥
and so hurt in my heart♥
i almost cry♥
because, i didn't know that you used to be a couple with her♥
am i just stupid or what?♥
this is so stupid♥
LOL♥
freaking hate this feeling♥
but, i have no choice♥
because, I LOVE YOU♥
muahahahaha♥
i'll be waiting♥
until i only left one breathe♥
muacks♥

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如何讓你遇見我? 在我最美麗的時刻...為這, 我已在佛前求了五百年...
求佛讓我們結一段塵緣...佛於是把我化做一棵樹, 長在你必經的路旁...
陽光下慎重地開滿了花...朵朵都是我前世的盼望...
當你走近, 請你細聽; 那顫抖的葉, 是我等待的熱情...
而當你終於無視地走過,在你身後落了一地的...
朋友啊! 那不 是花瓣...那是我凋零的心...

這是席慕容的作品--《會開花的樹》
這是一首很好的詩歌。。。
這首詩歌，被人們改變成一首歌《求佛》。。。
而台灣偶像劇《海派甜心》也有把它拿出來作為戲裏的其中一句“金句”。。。
這首詩歌給我的感覺，很特別。。。
我很好奇。。。人們所擁有的愛情，是否還像以前的人那麼單純？
不，我不覺得。。。因為現今的社會，已經沒有思想那麼單純的人了。。。
雖然不好意思，但是這是我的心裏話。。。

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

the day before yesterday's night...
it was my terrible day ever...
how come there's such a person exist in this world??
what right does he have to cancel my singapore passport?
what right does he have to say my father's bad words in front of me?
what right does he reserve to tell me that he wanna beat my father up?
i've controlling my temper...if not...
even in the end i will die, i will still fight with you!
"I ask you, whatever you want, did i ever tried to give you or buy for you?"
HA! HA! HA!
are you so noble?!?!
i once told you that i wanna learn to be a hair stylist...
i once told you that i wanna study in HUA REN CHINESE HIGH SCHOOL...
i once told you that i wanna work part-time at Station1...
i once told you that i wanna work...
but in the end...?
I CAN NEVER BE STUDYING ANYTHING THAT'S ABOUT HAIR STYLIST!!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT THE LECTURE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!
I CAN NEVER BE STUDYING IN HUA REN CHINESE HIGH SCHOOL!!
BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT THE SCHOOL FEES IS EXPENSIVE!!
I CAN NEVER WORK PART-TIME JOB AT STATION1!!
BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO A BABYSITTER FOR YOUR TWO DEAREST SONS!!
ASK YOURSELF!! I'VE BEEN WORKING SO HARD JUST TO EARN MONEY...
BUT IN THE END, WHAT DID I GET!?!?
I'M THE ONE WHO EVERYDAY WORKING OUTSIDE, RUN HERE RUN THERE...
IF GOOD, I CAN EARN AT LEAST RM1500 PER DAY!!
OR EVEN MORE THAN THAT!! EVEN RM10000 ALSO NO PROBLEM!!
BUT I NEVER!! IN THE END, I WILL STILL GET SCOLDED BY YOU!!
THAT NIGHT, I WAS OUTSIDE...
BUT SUDDENLY, I RECEIVED YOUR CALL...
YOU ASK ME TO GO HOME, QUICK...
I THOUGHT WHAT HAS HAPPENED!!
I RUSH BACK HOME, BUT YOU'RE JUST ASKING ME:
THAT DAY WHEN YOU WENT BACK TO SINGAPORE, IS THERE ANYONE SAID THAT MY SON LOOKS LIKE A MALAY KIDDO??

WTF!
is that a big problem??
i don't think so!! even the one who said this also can't blame her!!
because your son's skin is just too dark!!
and you don't even know, those Aunties was seeing me grew up when i'm still small until now!!
i know their characters!! they didn't mean it!!
but why can't you stop all this stupid fucking things!?
always messed up my life!? no matter how much i earned, i will just get RM50-100 ONLY!!
this is what i deserve?! working, working working...
no matter raining day or sunny day...i'm always the one who staying outside for a long long day...
you never ever respect me! this is not what i wanna work as...
this is a job?! everyday i had to instigate by you and your words!!
i've had enough!! i can't stand it!!
you told my mum that you'll respect me and my feeling...
BULLSHIT!!
no one will care about my feeling...
i smile everyday, in front of you guys...
but, the pain in my heart, you all will never ever know!!
because i will not say out, and i will never ever tell you guys...
this is what i deserve...
now, i just hope that i have someone who's caring...
i need someone who love me, who care about me...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

well, teehee...
it's time for me to give up and let go...
although there's a bit grudge...
but, it's my choice...
and i will never ever hold these four letters in my hand anymore...
L.O.V.E
because it hurts, isn't it?
the only way, only solution...
give up and let go...
so that we'll not be suffer anymore...
L.O.V.E can be sweet..
but, it can be hurt, too...
hence, just be youself...!
you can L.O.V.E yourself...
don't need other people's caring and loving...
just to be yourself...
maybe you guys will think that it's easy to say...
but hard to do...
well, to me...
no matter what kind of hardship i try before...
yes, it's not easy...
thus, i will still try...
because your fortune is in your hand...
you're the only one who can change yourself and your fortune...
what if you listen to other people in your whole life?
maybe you'll never had a good end...
don't be silly...
this is YOUR life, not HIS/HER life.
Come on, do something!
be yourself!
trust yourself!
you can do it...
since i can, why don't you?
:)


веіівеіі♥ (≥ω≤)

today, i finally muster up my courage...
asked you, "Nerdy~how are you?"
through msn...
but, i offline in a while...
until just now, 12.32 pm...
i saw your replied...
"Still the same i guess"

haha! this sentence...
makes me felt so suffer...
what's the meaning?
maybe i 自作多情...
thought that is THAT meaning...
but, i think you have no feeling to me anymore...
and maybe, you will never reply my msn anymore...
but, what can i say?
i'm the one who spoiled our love...
hope that you'll find your love one, and your caring one...
because, i might not stand a chance to love and care about you...
yeah, and it's FOREVER if i'm not wrong...



~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

ps, WTH! my english is so poor now!
must learn my english ler...
tsk tsk tsk...but! my chinese is pro~ xD
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

you're still in my heart and my memories...

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥okay, this is crazy...♥

♥sick♥ sick♥ sick♥
♥crazy♥ crazy♥ crazy♥
♥no appetite♥ no appetite♥ no appetite♥
♥headache♥ headache♥ headache♥
♥cough♥ cough♥ cough♥
♥flu♥ flu♥ flu♥
♥feeling cold♥ feeling cold♥ feeling cold♥
♥fever♥ fever♥ fever♥
♥wearing long pants♥ wearing long pants♥ wearing long pants♥
♥wearing jacket♥ wearing jacket♥ wearing jacket♥
♥anti-medicine♥ anti-medicine♥ anti-medicine♥
♥stupid me♥ stupid me♥ stupid me♥
♥going to faint♥ going to faint♥ going to faint♥
♥help♥ help♥ help♥
♥stomach pain♥ stomach pain♥ stomach pain♥
idiot♥ idiot♥ idiot♥
♥felling hot♥ feeling hot♥ feeling hot♥
♥my head is so pain and i'm going to faint♥
♥so tire today♥
♥really cant stand myself♥
♥sick already♥
♥so long never sick le♥
♥now sick♥
♥my stupid babes all said that i'm kanna infected of H1N1♥
♥so heartless lah♥
♥but will still care about me♥
♥thank you guys♥
♥love you guys too♥
♥let's chat in msn again♥
♥hahas♥
♥:D♥


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TAG PLEASE!
♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥Happy Birthday Babe Chia Ailing♥

heys babe! today is your 15th birthday~
happy birthday to you~
even though i've wished you happy birthday via handphone,
facebook, plurk...
but...aiyo~
i can't stand anymore~
really wanna wish you many many happy birthday!!
HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY BABE!
WOW!
we've known each others for 3 years and the half!!
so happy!!
and i misses you so much whenever i came back to m'sia...
so sad...D:
babe, you're the best!
well, even though i have many best friend...
but, you're the one that care about me the most!!
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!
on 07th Jan 2007...
Class: 4 Hope...
you are the first one who talked to me!
and the first one who played with me!
3 months ago...
i went back to singapore...
22nd april...
silly babe you hug me~
make me so paiseh~~
WAKAKAKAKAKAKA!!!!
you become prettier, taller and cuter!
:D
hahas!
sometimes, when i re-think about the past...
it was so fun...
i hope that i can go back soon and meet you up!!
MISS YOU AND WISHING YOU A
HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY!!
BABE CHIA AILING!!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

take a look!
hope you like it!
:D
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

okay, let's post with English today.
:D

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

recently, i found out that i can conceal my unhappy easily!
is is because i get use to it??
i've come around that, yeah...
really, there's no one who care about me and my feeling...
isn't it?
is it so fun about saying damaging things about others before a third party??
what i did to you??
i care about you so much!
you're my best friend in malaysia...
but, why can't you try to understand what happen rather than misunderstand me?

"We're best friend forever!"

this is what you told me when last year June...
on your birthday...
we've already know each others for so long...
but! because of him!
the guy that you dont even know for 2 months!
you neglected me...
didn‘t find me even when you go out for shopping...
Rynn, we used to be such best friend...
no one can even get involve us...
but because of him...
you've changed...
you're not the Rynn that i know already...
this is so sad, you know!?
i will never forget him!!
hypocrite!!
don't even think that i will believe the every single word that you say!!
so fake!!
because of you, i lost one of my best friend!
just because i said that your heart is UGLY!!
i don't wish to bring shame on you...
because i still have humanity...
set up on other people is not my style...
but, i'm sure, you will regret that what you've done!!
you will get your retribution one day!!!

正所谓，人在做，天在看！
像你这种爱到处散播谣言的人，
迟早会受到处罚的！
尤其是自以为自己很帅，不跟你在一起会有损失，
跟你在一起过后又被你当玩偶甩掉，你要更加小心！
我很清楚你是怎样的恶人。。。
不过你放心！我不会那么快就暴你的料出来！
我要让你多积点阴德！你小心点！

ps, i don't have any relationship with this stupid guy.
don't get my meaning wrong!
i'm just know that he like to play with people's feeling!
girls, be careful! i don't want you guys to get hurt!
okays? some of you might know who i'm talking about!
cheers, with love!
:)

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